meeting someone in public you were trying to avoid
Love this for some hella weird ass reason
Damn damn damn I’m really disappointed in myself right now… I tried to do something I haven’t done since 2006… I tried to cut myself. I don’t know why, I’ve been coping so well until lately. I feel like the culmination of the chat I just had with someone who matters kind of just pushed me to it. To hear that the one thing you want more than anything may not come to fruition and it’s your own fault is just terrible. I panicked. I didn’t just cry it out like I should have. I kept it in, kept a straight face in front of the one who quickens my pulse. I didn’t want to break down, I wanted to seem strong even though on the inside I died a thousand slow tortured deaths with every word that he let escape his beautiful mouth. I knew he would be unmoved by my tears as he so often is, so I bottled, and pressurized and pressurized until a small straight opening in the surface of my bottle released enough pressure to make me snap out of the torturous reverie I happened to be in. And now I’m here doing what I should have done from the beginning which was letting all of this hurt rush from the bottom of my heart out through the orbs that allow me to gaze upon his beauty. Luckily I didn’t break skin so I can laugh it off as a scratch. But man I know that in that instant I wanted to feel and see the sting of the cool metal and flow of humors that would follow. Fuck. I’m so upset.
Roll up n roll out
Can I just see this everyday